The more I learn, the less I know

 Hey y'all, 

So I've been thinking: Is there a correct way to live your financial life? Is there a right way to do things? Truly? I have been told and sometimes taught my entire life that I need to save as much as I possibly can because "you never know what will happen", "It's best to have a nest egg", "Save up for those unexpected life events" etc. I guess for me, though, those principles never really stuck. Money has always had a way of burning a hole in my pocket. I have some suspicions as to why that is and I'm usually led to believe that it is my laundry list of psychological issues and perceived shortcomings. 

If I don't have money, though, what can I have? In our society, I can't possibly have things like security, confidence or financial literacy. I think the worst part of this belief system that what one has in the bank supersedes any other issues one may have is that in my life, I've been led to believe that because I am not great with money, I am less than. Isn't that ridiculous? Because I don't know what to do with my money, I am therefore not trustworthy or to be taken seriously. I know that this is not the case everywhere, but in the world of disgusting privilege I come from, that is one of the only things that they have to "worry" about. 

I'm going to preface these next thoughts with one statement: I believe in a higher power and I believe that this life is only a stepping stone in one's soul's  existential journey through whatever it is that we journey through. I believe that people who judge others for their financial literacy and investment portfolios are so shortsighted that they can't even see the fact that they can't take any of what they have with them. I've noticed, too, that even when they have it and pass away, rarely do they pass it on to their children easily. There are frequently contingencies, guilt trips and terms that come along with the outcome of getting their "death money" while they are alive which deeply damage and flaw their offspring. I could keep spouting off my opinions on how people validate themselves or I could do what I'm about to do and give a few examples of why I'm learning that our society's obsession with money is destroying our humanity. 

First, Here is a little story. In 2013, I had the opportunity to go to Africa. I visited South Africa, Zambia, Botswana and Zimbabwe. It was the most beautiful experience that yielded the rawest view of true reality to me and I believe it changed my perspective truly. When we visited Johannesburg, we stopped by one of the housing areas (shanty towns) filled with well over 50,000 people. I expected to see miserable people, but instead was welcomed with smiles, laughter, shared meals, families spending time together, kids running together, and a functional community. Sure, they were lacking things we have in our day to day lives here, but all-in-all, they could live with what they had. After some time in the bush and driving across vast grasslands, canoeing through the Okavango Delta, and not having a functional cell phone for 2 weeks, I'd never felt better. When we arrived in Zimbabwe, though, the craziest thing happened. While we were driving, we saw someone with a wheelbarrow filled with money walking down the street. After asking some questions, I was informed that during that week, Zimbabwe's entire financial system had collapsed and all of that money was, well, worth an apple at the store. 

My point is this: Our beliefs on how our money define us are based on a monetary system foundation that is built on quicksand. Our banks are privately owned, our money is over inflated and all of that nest egg we have tucked away is just paper if the dollar collapses. Will that happen? Who knows. All of that is to say that from my perspective, I believe that you can still live life to the fullest, pay for experiences, beautiful things, meals and, in my case, give any cash I have to homeless people as I drive around, or you can tuck it away, hunker down in your mortgaged home and "build wealth" while your life passes you by. 

Second, I'll share a story from more recently. My father passed away in 2015 suddenly and my mother was left with a 7 figure windfall from his life insurance policy - This was in addition to their investments, savings, assets, and their home which had appreciated over 1000% since they bought it in the 80s. She was set. My siblings and I, upon losing our father, saw nothing. I wanted to be mad about it. I wanted to be angry that she wouldn't think to give her and his children anything at all from that, but then I realized something: Money often brings out the very worst in people. They use it to manipulate, bribe, torture, and belittle others; they use it as a crutch; they use it as an escape. I'm not mad at her anymore, in fact, I feel pity for her. I pity the fact that she clings so tightly to her money that she has sacrificed a better relationship with me, her oldest child. And because I've lived my life so far outside of her lines and expectations, my younger brother is the executor of her estate and she may not pay for my wedding like she did for my sister's. 

But do you know what? 

I may not have 1 million dollars in the bank, but there is so much that I do have because I haven't let money control my life and my decisions. So, I ask you again: Do you feel badly when people talk about their money and judge you based on how you manage yours? 

None of us are perfect, and I'm not saying that you can't have both, but when your life is over and your soul leaves this place and you are faced with our maker, will you feel proud of what you accomplished while you were here? Will you feel proud of how you spent your life? Because I can tell you one thing: where we're all headed, money won't matter. Maybe that is truly the meaning of financial freedom.

Be gentle with yourself and buy what you want - unchain yourself from the expectations of our mostly corrupt society :) Be responsible, but stop obsessing. It will all be OK.