The underlying beast of addiction

Don't you love when people mess something up (more specifically, something you'd never mess up in your opinion) and they say "I'm only human"? Immediately, you may experience the "Well, I am too, but I didn't mess that up!" or "How can you be so weak?" or "How could you fail at completing something that seems to be so simple?"

Being human may not seem like a great excuse at first glance. After all, we're all human. But are we all created with the exact same DNA? Are we born into the same circumstances? Are we taught the same things? Are we raised by the same people, if even given the opportunity to be raised by anyone at all? Are our highly complex brains wired in an identical way? NO. So why do we expect for everyone else to respond to or to cope with situations exactly how we would? 

This is a pretty broad topic, so I want to narrow this down specifically to spending money compulsively. Do you know what is really scary about compulsive spending? It has been made to be a socially acceptable practice until, of course, it's not. Our society has been built upon always needing MORE and BETTER options than we currently have. When it was apparent that most people (99%) cannot initially afford items to keep up with the Joneses, the government and banks literally made it INTO a business. All of this is expected, though, because in this world, everything can be monetized. But just because it can be monetized doesn't mean it is inherently OK or good. 

All of this would be acceptable if it were exempt from the human experience. I am not suggesting a socialist society where we all get the same things, but instead am suggesting that everything you grew up believing about wealth, money, credit (DUN DUN DUN) and saving only serves the institutions who taught you about it. Sure, a percentage of fortunate folks are brought into this world with inside tracks and resources which allow them to succeed and get ahead at an early age. What about everyone else? 

Let's introduce another, more personal, aspect of money, a topic which in and of itself should require special training. That topic is SPENDING to FILL AN UNRELATED EMOTIONAL OR SPIRITUAL VOID. But when does that depart from the realm of semi-healthy "band-aid on a broken leg" territory and head into "I may be addicted" territory? It's just like any other type of less socially acceptable addiction: It isn't a problem...until it is. 

My Dad was an addict. He was a social drinker most of his life (socially acceptable) and then, when he was in his early 50s, he was prescribed opioids for chronic toe pain. Uhhhh, in my experience of him, his toe pain was in no way "debilitating" from the outside looking in, but do you know what was? His emotional and internal pain that he was feeling. 

We lost him to suicide 6 years ago and all of this goes to say that it's clear the toe pain wasn't the issue. The scariest part of all of this, much like the social acceptability of excessive spending, is that opioids were made into a business; one where people on one side made a TON of money; where doctors made money every time their prescribed them; and where the consumers PAID for the side effects and highly addictive nature of these drugs. The most disturbing part: because the opioids were being given by a doctor, they must be good- because doctors are supposed to be "good" or at least that is what society reminds us of all of the time. My dad probably believed at one point that his doctor was merely doing his job by giving him medicine which would relieve his pain...until the doctor didn't give him anymore and left him to fend for himself - after never attempting to treat the root of the problem.

Let's translate this over real quick to spending money. The banks are the pharma manufacturers, the loan and credit companies are the doctors (the solution givers) and the drug is the "credit". In theory, all of it looks good if you take the prescription responsibly and according to plan, but what if all along, the root condition of your problem (a mental or emotional void, for example) is not being treated? Aren't you going to continue "medicating" the side effects of your problem to reduce the discomfort all while the root condition worsens and deteriorates your body (financial well being) therein creating WORSE conditions overall? 

See? Addiction isn't a big scary word that should intimidate you. If you are not addicted or have an unhealthy relationship with ANYTHING OR ANYONE, consider yourself lucky. You are in the minority. Addiction may not be a widely acceptable disease yet, but it is certainly one that our society has created and perpetuated because the truth is this: Most businesses and people only care about their own well-being. 

All of this goes to say that you, while still being a caring, kind, and generous individual to others (which is great, by the way), have to keep your financial, mental and emotional houses in order because YOU are the only one who is fully invested in making sure that those areas of your life are healthy, balanced and non-toxic. 

Spread love, love yourself, forgive yourself. 

V